Computermania is a serious and crippling illness, not to be taken lightly! It strikes suddenly and without warning, causing in its victims an insatiable desire to be in or near a computer network. Left at the mercy of internet cafes, university computer rooms, and corporate networks. its victims can be found conversing with PCs, MacIntoshes, Tablets, and mainframes for hours on end; often to the point of forgetting their physical needs and ignoring their friends.
While there is no known cure for Computermania, its victims CAN be helped by causing system malfunctions and severely limiting the number of terminals or workstations available. This however, can cause severe withdrawal symptoms such as pacing the floor or guzzling down tremendous amounts of coffee.
While the exact causes of Computermania are not known, it is believed to stem from a lack of companionship in the early years of development, coupled with an excessive reliance on electronic devices on the part of the victim involved.
Help stamp out Computermania by donating generously to S.A.B.O.T.A.G.E.R.S., (The Society for the Anihilation of Business Oriented, Technical and General Electronic Recordkeeping Systems.)